Holding my Key

Before March 23rd 2020, that infamous day when a pandemic sent us into hiding, I  felt  I was already in hiding. In some ways, I kind of felt ‘comforted’, that for the first time ever, it’s not only my life that has been put on hold. I’ve always been the one that has had to suspend my life. Whether that be because i have had to come home early from my gap year, leave university as I was admitted to hospital or leave my job because I had no energy or concentration, It became a normal feeling for me to watch everyone I know; power on through their lives, reach new goals, hit new milestones, whist I would just be watching on from the sidelines with a happy and supportive smile on my face as a loyal friend.  It was tough, knowing I hadn’t got that degree yet, I hadn’t been offered that top high-powered job and I hadn’t been trusted to go travelling the world without my family. So for once in my life, it was not only me! It sounds kind of cruel I guess to think that, however I just thought

  Welcome to my journey. My name's Lizzie and I'm 25. A London girl, with a passion for travel, fashion, culture and writing.  Unfortunately , all of these interests have been hijacked by an eating disorder. It has taken a lot from me, and prevented me from following my dreams. However, I am on the difficult path of navigating it. It is a long process, and not always easy, but this is a space for me to be honest, share my feelings,  and work towards playing a part in removing the stigma around mental illness.  A lot has happened over these past 10 years. I have had ups and downs. I have succeeded and failed in many ways.  Most definitely my biggest ‘up’ has been getting engaged to the most wonderful boy, (anonymous for now!)  who I am so grateful for every day.  I never thought I would meet that ‘perfect' boy. I was positive I was destined to be alone forever.  I comforted myself in the notion that I didn’t need a husband. My husband could be anorexia. I felt married to it.